Pitching Black
by BigBlackDog13
Summary: One shot. My first fanfic. A prank by the Marauders and how literal meanings is sometimes painful. Please R&R.


disclaimer: if i really owned HP would i be posting a piece of fanfiction?

a/n: hello! this is me an my story! well, its a one-shot an its my first one so please be brutal in the reviews. if you like it, tell me. if you don;t, tell me anyways. story basicly includes a prank, the slytherins, evil laughter an, well, some literal meanings that yu shouldn't try at home. don forget to be brutal in reviewing!

ciao!

* * *

Peter: So what exactly are we doing here?

Sirius: _exasperated_ _sigh_ We've been through this a thousand times!

James: Well, you know how Wormy can be sometimes…

Peter: I resent that!

Remus: _annoyed_ _glance_ Look, we're going to go through this door and into the Slytherin common room-

Peter: _nod_ mmhmm.

Remus: And we're going to put flea powder into the cushions.

Peter: That's it! _shocked look_

James: Of course that's not it!

Remus: Keep your voice down! _anxious look around_

Peter: Then what makes this a good prank? I mean, what's the difference between this one and all the other pranks throughout this year?

Sirius: This prank is different because a) it's 2 pranks for the price of one and b) it'll wipe the smug smile of greasy Snivelus' face. _Low chuckling_

Remus: Padfoot, shut up. We're going inside and I really don't need the whole of the Slytherin House breathing down our necks though we have quite a few thanks to our fraternization with James. Isn't that right?

James: Don't hate. _coy glance_

Peter: So when are we going to go in? _nervous shuffle of feet_

Sirius: I don't know. Prongsy hasn't told us how to actually get into 'Horrid Chamber of Doom'

James: Wow did you come up with that all by yourself? _mock surprise_

Sirius: Yeah. _proud smile_

Remus: Sure he did. _skeptical glance_

Peter: Can we please just get this over with!

James: All right. Don't get your knickers in a twist! Time to get this show on the road before that annoying Head Boy catches us. I can't stand him. _muttered incantation_

_All enter into the Slytherin common room. All, but Pete who is on guard duty but soon goes to sleep, takes out little brown paper bags and dispense light green powder onto the cushions at the center of the room and in front of the fire. Remus, Sirius, and James walk into boy's dorm while Pete sleeps. They come back out after a few minutes with smug smiles and wake up Peter. They all leave to go back to Gryffindor tower and wait for breakfast and the second part of their plot._

Sirius: You're saying that only because he's going out with dear Lilykins.

James: So what? He's only in it for a more physical reason, if you know what I mean. _nudge, nudge_

Peter: OUCH! Don't elbow me that hard._ rubs side_

Remus: Oh, please.

Sirius: Yeah cause then we'll all be walking in piss from here until our common room.

James: Padfoot, stop bagging on Wormtail. He knows he has a problem. But then again, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

Peter: Sure, everyone gang up on the fat one. _annoyed scowl_

James: see, he's already taking your advice.

Remus: I'm surrounded by idiots._ hopeless shake of head_

Sirius: Yeah, but you love us for it.

Remus: Padfoot, stop skipping.

Sirius: I can't help it. I keep imagining we're going to find 'sweet, I'll-never-do-anything-against-the-rules' Lily snogging that head boy inside the common room when she's supposed to be setting a good example for the midgets andthen seeing the murderous look on our Prongsy's face.

James: Sirius, if you make another comment implying that I'm in love with Lily small smile at her name you will not be singing the same tune for the rest of the way back to the common room.

Sirius: 'Lily and James, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S—'

James: Moony, how would you describe the lighting in this extremely dark corridor?

Remus: Uh… hesitant Pitch black?

James: Ok!

Sirius:'—I-N-G first comes---- what the f---!

Peter: OUCH!

Sirius: Whachu do dat fo? _voice coming from Peter's stomach_

Remus: To get you to shut the bloody hell up. By the way, I like the way you think.

James: Thank you. You have to admit he was really starting to annoy.

Remus: _whispering_ That's why I always have a bar of spiked chocolate.

James: Spiked with what?

Remus: Sleeping draft. Very mild.

James: Nice.

_Enter Gryffindor common room. Thankfully, Lily wasn't snogging anyone. All four collapse into couches, armchairs, and Sirius on the floor. They don't wait long. At 6 am, boys troop out of common room, all tired and heavy eyes but still excited._

Sirius: Finally! _yawn_

Peter: So what exactly _yawn _are we going to do?

Remus: Well, we're going to put a little bomb in the Slytherin's food-

James: Where, Lucius, Snape, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and the rest of the motley crew sit to be exact.

Sirius: And we're going to put a temporary sticking charm on the food so they have to walk around with food all over them for the –

Remus: Shh! I think I hear someone.

Sirius: _whips out Marauder's Map and whispers_ I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good. _checks map _It's clear in front but old Grotis is coming from the right.

_Boys break into a silent run. They turn the corner just in time. _

Peter: That was close.

Remus: Let's get to the kitchens and fast.

_Turn another corner and walk up to painting of fruit bowl. Sirius pinches the apple. There are little threads were they have pinched too much. Enter kitchen. Avoid stepping on the house elves. They plant the bomb and perform charm._

Sirius: _evil laugh_ This is going to be so good. _more laughter_

James: Padfoot, don't piss yourself. _low chuckle_

_Boys leave kitchens. Sirius is still laughing. _

Remus: _very low mutter _can't keep a secret, can he?

James: nope.

_Enter great hall. Boys take usual seats and wait for the show. Sirius is still laughing._

James: _low growl _Sirius, stop behaving like a baboon or I'll shave your hair off.

Sirius:_ whimpers and stops laughing_

Remus: You're learning—James!

James: _staring at Lily as she enters Great Hall_. Doesn't she look amazing?

Remus: Oh, boy. _shakes head sadly. looks up and is instantly happier_ Look guys, the models have arrived.

Sirius:_ Looks up and starts laughing again_

James: Yes. _wide, evil smile_

Peter: What the? You guys did that? _stares stunned at Malfoy and Snape_

_Malfoy and Snape enter scratching at theirmatching pink robes. Malfoy's have little kiss marks on it in red and Snape has little red hearts. Malfoy and Snape realize everyone is looking at them. They look to their robes and scream like little girls. Every other Slytherin comes into hall and openly laugh at their predicament. They try to take the robes off but can't because the robes are stuck to their clothes._

Peter: When you guys do that?

Sirius: Oh Peter, when we stationed you as lookout, you fell asleep. _starts to laugh evilly again_

James: So we went into the boys dorm and messed a little with their robes _starts to openly laugh too_

Peter: Even you, Remus?

Remus: Yeah, I couldn't help myself. _small chuckle_

_Suddenly there was a loud BANG! and they all look round to find their targets all full of food._

Sirius: Cheers to a happy year at Hogwarts! _starts stuffing his face with food_


End file.
